Today was chemo day! One dose of nine!
Feeling great today but know all too well what is to come. The side affects of chemotherapy are not only physically challenging but very mentally challenging. When the phone call came with my actual start date an unexpected wave of fear and anxiety hit. So many memories came flooding back, how I imagine some forms of PTSD may be like. Not only memories but the feelings and emotions that are partenered with them, so strong, so powerful, so overwhelming.
I have already received 15 months of terrible, painstaking chemotherapy at 8yrs old then another six doses in 2011, three of those while pregnant. I know very well how it feels to lose your hair, have never ending nausea, have nothing taste right, unbelievable fatigue, brain fog and bones that ache like you can’t imagine. Very thankful for the improvements in meds to help, especially with nausea but one thing meds can’t take away is how it affects us mentally and emotionally.
Unless you’ve experienced this first hand it is so hard to understand the struggle. I struggle to trust that a medication killing fast growing cancer cells, while also killing so many healthy cells in my body, is the right path to choose. I struggle in choosing to do this knowing all the side affects to come both short and long term.
But in the midst God calms my fears, relieves my anxiety and gives me the strength and a peace to move forward and trust that this IS what He’s asking me to do. He is present and answering the prayers being lifted.
Thankful that treatment can be done locally! Thankful for an amazing oncology team! Thankful for smaller weekly doses this time! Thankful for faithful prayer warriors! Thankful for beautiful family and friends that love on all of us! Thankful for the sun and view on this cold winter day!
May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!
Psalm 29:11
Through It All 
You’re unbelievable. Keep strong.
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Maria, you have unbelievable strength and courage, thanks to your great faith, which will pull you through your treatments. Hang in there!
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I have been praying for you this week Maria. The Lord is with you and loves you so very much. Hugs my sweet Sister. 🥰
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You were prayed for tonight at our prayer meeting. We don’t know God’s plan for you, but we do know that He loves you very much and will be with you at every step. Praying that you will know His presence and that everyone you come in contact with will see the love of Christ in you, and that even in this, you will grow in grace. “…our God whom we serve is able to deliver us…” Daniel 3:17
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Hope all goes well with chemo, sending love and prayers..
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Sending our prayers and love 🙏 💘
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Oh goodness I’m sure the PTSD is terrible. I think going through repeated medical traumas is something people really underestimate. And worse when it’s not JUST the trauma, because you have genuine and legitimate physiological reasons for feeling terrible on top of the emotional load. That was me this whole last pregnancy after the previous two horror shows.
Praise the Lord you can get your oncology consults and chemo locally! That’s one less ball to juggle. Take the wins where you can get them, right?
Continuing to pray the chemo is bailing rhe cancer snd sparing as many healthy cells as possible.
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Maria, you are one of the strongest women I know! You got this!! Xo
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Praying that God’s grace and peace run through you stronger than that chemo infusion is.
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God bless you Maria
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I understand. I keep thinking of you, and praying for you. You have been through so much, and His strength is made perfect in ( our) weakness. I will pray for your emotions and spirits. Hugs
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You look beautiful so sorry that this is happening to you once again my prayers are with your family hugs to you all xo
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We have and will continue to pray for you 🙏 ❤
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Our amazing Lord Who walked this journey with you before is still the One Who will be holding you in His arms of love and giving you His strength, His peace and His comfort! You’re not alone, precious lady, You are under the shadow of the Almighty! That’s the safest place you could ever be! Praying for you daily and asking Our Heavenly Father for another miracle!! ❤️
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Such a beautiful spirit and share. You continue to inspire. Praying the Lord’s presence upon and with you and yours in a special way revealed in the needed times of grace. You are Beloved of God and we will be praying.
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You got this !
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Praying for God to heal you, be with you and to surround you with love and peace.
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You are so beautiful, friend. Praying God’s peace that transcends our understanding to guard over you.
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
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Prayers being said daily
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Your strength is inspiring. Thank you for sharing your journey.
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When praying for you this morning this verse came to me. I pray it’s an encouragement and we pray for Gods protection of the good cells of your body as the bad cells are being killed.
For continued peace and for comfort, strength and healing
Isaiah 43:2 “When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
You will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
You will not be burned up;
The flames will not consume you.”
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Praying for you all here as well, for you to feel God’s presence and peace every step of the way!!
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You are so courageous. Love you Sis.
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Praying Gods hand on you and your family. Praying the touch of the great physician on your body and the drs . Who are treating you. Praying the peace that passes understanding on you and yours. 🤗❤️🙏
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Lifting you and your family in prayer 💕
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Praying daily for you and your family on this journey that God has taken you. Your strength and courage come from the Lord. Without Him we can do nothing! You have great prayer warriors on your side❤️❤️
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You are so brave. Sending healing thoughts your way
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Praying for you and your family daily ❤️ The oncology team are a amazing group of people who make being there slightly more enjoyable. You are a strong woman. Know you are loved and prayed for by so many of us.
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Praying for Gods continued strength and may you be ever aware of his presence.
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My dear Maria. I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with this awesome monster called CANCER once again. Yes, we both know what chemo is all about and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I like many others know how strong your faith is, so with GOD and lots of prayers, you will get through this. Stay strong my friend.
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You are an inspiration! Love you!❤️
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