Six Down….More to Go!😔

I normally share here like a diary of our week….beginning where I left off. Needing to start with today this week.

Today was just….hard. 😪 SO hard!

Along with my 6th dose of chemo today I got my CT results from last week. It showed progression.😔 New spots on my liver and a new spot on my breast bone. Most of my other existing ones showing progression.

Along with this news came the likelihood of one area needing radiation and adding more chemo. Another whole cycle of three treatments along with what was already planned.

So instead of being over half way I’m just now half way into the new chemo plan.

This brings indescribable heartache and discouragement. I never felt like I recovered this week so to know I have six more doses to come, so many more weeks of feeling like this or worse. More pain, more swellng, more exhaustion, more brain fog just brought sadness. 😪

Instead of recovering through June, it will be another hard month.

I’m already tired of being a burden to my precious husband, children & friends. I can’t even explain how hard and painful it is to need them so much instead of me helping, taking care of or just spending time with them.

I wanted to be helpful and feel well while welcoming our first grandbaby into this world. I wanted to be able to take care of all the things others are helping with now.

God has other plans.

” The Lord will cause us to stand in our lot, and our place is appointed by his infinite wisdom. A wiser mind than our own arranges our destiny……… Joyfully we leave the painful present and the unknown future with our Father, our Saviour, our Comforter.” C.H. Spurgeon

He shall choose our inheritance for us,…..
Psalm 47:4 KJV

A very precious friend, that has/is walking this cancer road herself, spoke truth to me today when I shared what was happening and felt like I was spiraling with fear. She reminded me of the verses in Matthew 14:28-31. Keeping my eyes and faith completely fixed on Jesus is the only way to keep from sinking into the dark stormy sea.

Along with all the hard news came hope. Although we don’t know what’s happening, there is hope that this progression happened before chemo has really had time to work. It has been 4 full months between CT’s and only 4 doses of chemo before last week’s scans. A repeat CT late June will give us a clearer picture of how affective chemo really is, after 12 full doses. A couple of my spots had no change, they were stable, the spot I could feel (that brought me to the doctor in the first place in November) is no longer there and my lungs, digestive and reproductive system are cancer free. All bringing hope in the darkness. It is not spreading into other major organs/systems. A huge praise!

The beauty in this week included…..

Pray hard for my husband and children. They are tired too. This week reflected that, especially in our children. Cancer affects us all, EVERY day!

Continue to join us in praying for a miracle!

Continue to pray for peace, strength and endurace!

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,
Romans 5:3 ESV