Med Break Results!

Since my last post, I took a complete break from both my Letrozole and Ibrance cancer meds. I also added in some new meds to help with pain and fatigue. A low dose long acting codeine has met all of my pain needs. VERY thankful for this! Having constant pain with every movement was completely overwhelming and exhausting, every single day. Having this physical relief brings huge mental relief as well, I can now think clearer. I also added a very low dose steroid this month, which greatly improved my energy level, another praise!

I am no where near my pre-treatment self, and sadly never will be but I can definitely live longer term with how I’m feeling now. Before this break and relief, I honestly had no idea how I was going to live day to day like I felt, let alone for any length of time. I was so overwhelmed.

If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.
2 Corinthians 1:6 NIV

Today I got to see my oncologist face to face instead of through telahealth, which was wonderful. To be able to see and talk to your doctor without a computer screen between you, makes such a difference. Although I’m extremely grateful for the technology to still have appointments even when they can’t be in person, nothing beats in person.

He gave some further details on my CT, not only did it show stability, it actually shows IMPROVEMENT! All areas look better, including my bone and liver mets! This is huge and encouraging! Meds and prayer are working! PTL!❤

We talked about moving forward. I just re-started Letrozole and will re-start Ibrance at the reduced 100mg dose in a few days. Pain med and low dose steroid will continue also and we’ll re-evaluate after this 3 week cycle is complete to especially see where my fatigue level is.

This break also showed what things will likely be permanent, this side of heaven. My energy level will never be where it was, fatigue will forever be here. It’s a physical, body fatigue, not a sleepy, take a nap and it will fix it, fatigue. This can bring so much frustration. I’m young, have an 18 month old to keep up with and a sweet grandbaby I want to play and hang out with along with all our big kids and the things I wish I could do with them.

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Although there are many smaller changes to life the biggest and most frustrating permanent change is the permanent damage from IV chemo, to my hands. All of my joints but most noticeable and changes my day to day activities are with my hands. Despite trying meds, massage, lymphatic drainage, a sleeve and other things my hands will never work the same. They are permanently slightly swollen, tight, stiff, weak and extra sensitive especially to temperature changes.

What does this practically look like day to day? (And I only share this to give a glimpse of my new reality.)

* getting dressed each day is hard, clothing and shoe choices have to be made, that I can manage that day.

* dressing, diaper changes, bathing and just general wrangling of a busy 18 month old is HARD.

* showering needs to be planned around my pain med and energy level.

* food prep is so so hard. Cutting things with weak, stiff hands, that do not like cold water, is not fun. Eating itself even looks different when your hands don’t work properly.😔

*fixing my girl’s hair can’t happen like it did, holding a braid tight is impossible.

* repetitive motions like cleaning, folding laundry, handwriting etc are hard and I need breaks. Effectively squeezing out a cloth now requires more strength than my hands have.

BUT with an amazing family (and blessed friends) that work like a team, that God has given various strengths and talents too, that God has given softened willing hearts too, we are making this new normal work!

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12 NIV

School is going wonderfully! Meals are being made! Laundry and housework are getting done! God is good! Life is good! Everyone is happy and thriving!

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We had our last camping trip of the year at Keji, mid September. It was beautiful there, perfect weather, we all can’t wait to go back!

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We’ve been able to see homeschool friends again!❤

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We had a beautiful day apple picking together after a scary weekend! Us ALL being together had nothing to do with my health, this time but because of an amazing God that completely shielded and protected one of our kids.

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I’m one of my mom’s designated care givers again, which means I can see her for now despite ridiculous mandates.

Despite these mandates causing anxiety, changes to activities we love, forcing us and others we love into corners no one should ever be forced into, God is good! He is far above all the illogical things happening and I am beyond thankful that this world is not my permanent dwelling!

If you do not know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, I will never preach to you, but you need HIM!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1 Peter 1:3 NIV

Please continue to cover us is prayer, even with good news and relief we need God’s covering more than ever! May He continue to draw our family closer to Himself, may He continue to heal, shield and protect not only us but this scary, unpredictable world we must live in right now! The weight of this world is so very heavy.😔

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3 NIV