Birthday Season, Gifts & Grieving

Today begins a month long birthday season at our house. We celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary on December 12th and our grandbaby girl was dedicated, then my 44th birthday is today! We celebrate 5 birthdays between today and January 14th at our house, not including Jesus’ birthday!

• 

• 

It’s busy, it’s beautiful but a bit overwhelming this year. We celebrate the gift of our marriage, the gift of 4 beautiful children born to us this month, the gift of Jesus’ love come to earth all while feeling so very different from last year, from any previous year.

Grieving has been a very real part of the last three weeks, since my last blog. Not only heavily grieving the loss of my mom, that takes over at completely unexpected moments but grieving my health as I approach one year of this current diagnoses. Christmas was my mom’s favorite time of the year. So many of our favorite recipes were hers, delicious food, parties, family together, decorating, shopping for the perfect gifts were all things she absolutely loved. So many memories, bring so many tears.

Grieving my health has been very real also. I began my next cycle of Ibrance 75mg last night. Another cycle after a two week break, that once again brought very little relief. It was hard to gauge my exhaustion on my break as I was recovering from mom passing and all that entailed, we were hit with a terrible tummy bug that wiped 8 of the 10 in our home, including me, and then just grief in general drains your energy both mentally and physically. Add in Christmas, birthdays and school and the feelings of being overwhelmed hit fairly often.

I’m actively pursuing an attitude of thankfulness and hope each day to keep my head above water.

We have slowed life down as much as possible while not eliminating the most important things to us, being together, absolutely favorite activities and recipes.

Very thankful for children that love to cook and bake when my achy, tight, stiff hands can’t!

Very thankful for precious friends that surprised me with the perfect gift, I didn’t even knew existed! Super comfy, hands free sneakers! Getting showered, dressed, especially in winter gear, is extremely difficult with tight, stiff, weak hands and muscles. These sneakers were not only the perfect gift but opened my mind and heart to pursue other helpful options to make life a little easier, to begin accepting that I again need to adapt and figure out a life, I never dreamed would look like this at 44yrs old. Not to sound like a broken record but I feel like I’m 90+years.😔

Very thankful for a surprise visit from one of my sisters that lives away!

Very thankful for a beautiful real snowfall! With forts, snowmen and sledding!

Very thankful big sis could take children for a walk with friends at Ellenwood!

Very thankful for a tea and pizza party with Nana and Gramp P.

Very thankful we got our first batch of vanilla started.

In the midst of everything, God’s word holds truth!

Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:1‭-‬18 NIV

God sees the victory…..God moves the mountains….

When I fight, I’ll fight on my knees with my hands lifted high…..

NOTHING can stand against the power of our God!

Listen to this!!!

https://open.spotify.com/track/3CwpNu67Qg1Mcl8WNtzUgo?si=y90lsUfKTQyNbBiG_Zrrzg&utm_source=copy-link