JOY in the Darkness

Even though this has been an open winter in south west’ Nova, it has been dark and dreary. Very few days of real sunlight. I think this affects everyone. Our moods, our attitudes. I know I’m extremely happy with the increased daylight. Having supper and children doing outside evening chores with daylight is wonderful! But know both physically and mentally, I’ve suffered with the terrible damp drearinness of this winter. Mentally feeling foggy and slow, physically achy and stiff.

May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God.
Philippians 1:11 NLT

Joy in Difficult Times is the title of the new sermon series being shared at our home church. It inspired me to write as I feel God has given some personal perspective on this.

And I want you to know, my dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News.
Philippians 1:12 NLT

Joy has been a choice. Am I always cheerful, happy and positive? NO!!! I am very much human and succumb to my very weak flesh daily. But being joyful comes from purposely living in a state of thankfulness. I am so blessed, so thankful for countless things. I could never list them all for fear of missing some.

Just a few, a husband that stands beside me in everything, children that help and bless each day (nope, they are not happy obedient children all the time, they are normal 😜) bonus children (spouses and finaces) and friends that are more than a blessing in so many ways, help when we need it, a beyond amazing health care team (from doctors to pharmacy and everything in between), other government agengies working above and beyond their norm to help us. Then just things like a very warm house, as much hot water as I want, a house full of food all the time. I do not take these blessings lightly. Being unable to physically do very much heightens my sense to appreciate these things more deeply than ever before.

Being joyful as I wait is a choice. Everything healthcare wise is on hold. It feels like a long wait. Ever since having my port a cath pulled in December I have no access for bloodwork. Without blood work I can’t continue my scleroderma medication. I’ve thankfully been able to continue taking my cancer meds, Ibrance and Letrozole. I am waiting for a part for the device that will allow access for me again, a Hickman Line. This will be inserted in Kentville as soon as the part arrives.

For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die.
Philippians 1:20 NLT

I need my prayer warriors to gather, please! So so thankful for each of you! I need this part to arrive so I can take the medication to slow/stop/heal my scleroderma. I can feel some joints tightening more, my stomach is holding less food and I’ve once again had food immotility which brings nausea, vomiting, gas, bloating and unpredictable bowel movements. Not fun. I also have an upcoming CT that will need to be canceled or done without contrast, not ideal either way.

For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance.
Philippians 1:19 NLT

I will continue to choose joy, pray with joy, remembering I am a Kingdom Citizen that will continue to take what God gives each day and will continue to wonder what He’s up too with all of this! I see glimpses but will be excited to see more.

God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:8 NLT